Carla's Heart

We lose another battle and wonder why. We lose so many battles mentally before we even get to fight them spiritually. It's so unfair...whose fault is it...I'm so stupid...bitterness...and so on. Are you believing God? Are you worshiping God or yourself? Consider this...Even self-loathing is self-worship. Oh it's cleverly disguised as humility, BUT worship is focus and self-loathing takes the focus off of God and puts it on ourselves. While we focus on ourselves we are unable to focus on the battlefield.
Are you believing God when victory demands your all? No matter who or what rises up against you, God's TITLE TRUMPS every other. (Joshuah 10:1) God requires so much of us at times so that we can experience the unmatched EXHILERATION of partnering in divine TRIUMPH! (Pslam 47) Whether we are in it, or just coming out of it, or on our way there, we will have seasons where God is going to put His finger on our lives and say, "This time I am going to need every last ounce of you." So stand firm....and by the way...if we feel defeated, we have defeated ourselves. Do you know why? Because the enemy does NOT have permission to defeat us! GOD IS FOR US! Even in His chastisement of us, which, by the way, will NEVER be just for the sake of punishment, only to the degree that we are taught, so that we can be blessed.
Chew on that....


It's a chilly evening, and I can hear my husband and 14 year old son watching the hockey , while our littlest one is tucked snuggly in his bed. Our 4 year old is gone for a sleep over at her cousin's house and our 17 year old is out at the movies with friends. Of course our 2 oldest live on their own.

 I was thinking how nice it is knowing where your kids are and that they are safe. But how awesome it is to know they are walking in the light of the truth. 
My parents always sign every card with the verse 3 John 1:4 " I have no greater joy than this, to hear that my children are living their lives in the truth." What a blessing it would be to know that was true. Unfortunately, that is not the case with our 2 oldest and although it breaks my heart, I must cling to the other verse, Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." That is the promise I am clinging to. I know I taught them and led to the Lord. I know He has a calling on their lives and that their decisions at very tender ages, to give their lives and heart to Him were not ignorant decisions. I know they know the truth. And one day they will come home.
At the same time, I am afraid of what I may have missed and am praying that I don't repeat mistakes or poor parenting witht the ones who are still home and the ones who are the most trainable now.

That is why I am counting my blessings....first of all so I don't go crazy and then so I remember and keep the eternal perspective.

I am blessed to live in a country where we are free to worship
I am blessed to have the heritage of Christian parents who pray for children daily
I am blessed to have faithful praying friends...not many of them...but faithful for sure
I am blessed to be raising these children with a man so full of the Spirit and so gifted with wisdom and discernment and patience, who loves and adores me so much that I am filled to overflowing and so our children are showered.
I am blessed 
I am blessed
I am blessed

Can't believe it! I am a Grandmother! Little Kathryn Rose was born on October 4th at 2:44 am. Weighing exactly 5 pounds. She looks exactly like her mother, my daughter did when she was born 23 years ago. Man I am getting old! Now little Gracie and Noah are and Aunt and uncle at 4 & 2. Yikes! Terry & I are now Poppy & Grammy. I had the privelege of being present for the birth and marveled yet again at the miracle of life. How can anyone question if there is a God or if He is gracious. These precious little lives he places in our hands are proof that he is gracious. I am not sure the reality of it has sunken in yet...but I am very pleased to say that she is healthy and thriving. They said she would need help breathing! She came out kicking and screaming! Now there are five generations of us all female, first born daughters. My Nana (81), my Mom(63), Me (41), My daugher (23) and my Grand daughter (1week). I have been overwhelmed by the amazing love and support shown to them and to us in turn. Must go and rest now...will write more soon.

~Still Amazed by His Grace~